Lessons learned with asthma
By Angela Crabtree
Having been diagnosed with asthma at the age of six months I have spent many years learning a variety of things from the disorder. Some of it has been annoying, often frustrating and even on occasion moderately humorous. There are things that I know from having been a child with asthma that every parent should be aware of.. Things that I am learning as an asthmatic parent of healthy children that are worth sharing. Things I have learned as a partner with asthma that I feel everyone who is asthmatic or has an asthmatic partner ought to be aware of and things that are simply of some general interest.
 Some of the hardest facts about asthma I learned as a child. I know that as frightening as asthma seams to be to an adult it is far more frightening to a child. For those of you who know a child with the illness you should consider how it effects you when you are around an attack and then think about how frightening it is for that child's pears to witness the same. I think that the parents of asthmatic children need to realize that there is a very strong likely hood that no mater how careful you are there is a strong likely hood that your child will have an attack around their classmates sooner or later. This is not just going to frighten your child but it will also scare the other children who witness it. You also need to take into account that children do not naturally know that they can't catch asthma. It can be hard enough for a child with asthma to make friends with the amount of time they often misinform school and the days they may have to be kept inside for recess with out the added stress of having pears who are afraid of the illness. I suffered an attack sever enough to send me to the hospital during recess in the first grade and the attitude of my classmates was never the same after that. The incident so disturbed them that they generally avoided in actual contact with me after that point. I went from being fairly popular to being a pariah practically over night. The general populace is fairly ignorant of the illness and I would advise any parent of an asthmatic child to have someone go to their child's class and explain what asthma is, in terms that the child's classmate will understand. This person could easily answer any questions and relieve any fears the other children have. In fact, considering how common place the illness is becoming, every school should probably invite someone in to explain what the illness is anyway. Even in this day and age there really is not enough asthma education out their. 
Additionally, I learned very early on that the chances a child has for getting a pear to come inside to hang out (unless they actually have a really good game system) with them when the neighbor hood is having a snow ball war and going around enjoying the usual winter activities is just about the same as for getting Rush Limbah to admit that he's wrong about something. That is to say, virtually non-existent. Lets face it, who would want to sit inside playing yatzee when the snow is perfect for sledding? I know I never did and I actually had no other choice, beside sneaking out and making myself very ill. Of course, that brings me to the other very important thing I learned as a child with asthma, Winter sports are worth the risk and after effects to a child. I used to go to great extents to sneak out of my parents house to play in the snow, knowing full well that the cold air was going to cause a sever, full blown asthmatic flare up. I knew that with in an hour - an hour and a half my chest was going to start to get very tight and that my breathing was going to become more and more difficult. I knew that a hour or so after that point it was going to be so bad that it would hurt to breath and I knew that shortly after that point I was going to have to go to the doctors. Yet, despite all of this hard ship, I always considered it worth it. While I know that there are devices now and even then that make this activity possible I am not from a family that could afford the novelty of something as frivolous as a heat exchanging mask so that a child could go out side and play. Lets face it, those things are expensive and are not covered by insurance. The one year I actually got a sled from a relative for Christmas. Not really the best gift and I confess, I was in my doctors office more then three times in the first week that I had that. (I was very good at sneaking out). The man finally got so exasperated with me that he actually exclaimed upon seeing me in there once agen "If you absolutely must sneak out at lest have the common since to come back inside as soon as your chest starts to feel the least bit tight!". I actually took that peace of advice. From that point on I only stayed out long enough to be sick for the rest of the weekend. Now I really feel for my poor parents and the parents of every asthmatic child in the same boat. I know just how determined I was to get out and play in the snow and the extents that I went to do so. I know how futile it can be to keep such a child inside and have often found myself wondering why there isn't some program or another to help provide the tools that asthmatic children in low income homes could really use to be able to live more normal lives. (If such a program exists now let me know)
There was a time when I thought that there couldn't be anything worse then having to stay inside in the winter because of my asthma. I have recently as a newer parent learned that I was very much wrong. Having to tell my son who will be four this January that he can't go outside to play in the snow because its too cold for me to go out with him is a lot harder. It's even worse in the summer when the pollen count is too high for me to be out side. Having all grass and grain pollens posing a problem for me as well as the cold really has been a sever limiting factor on the amount of time my children can be out side. I don't think my son has ever spent enough time outdoors to develop any amount of color in his skin and he really does not understand why. The worse of it is that by the time he is old enough to understand why I can't take him outside to play he will actually be old enough to play outside on his own, with out me watching him. Till then I have to endure the tears and pleading of a child who could actually use the outdoor play time but must stay inside because mommy can't take him out. There are times I find this very depressing. 
Then there are the complications that asthma brings to marital relations. The first time I had an attack during a compromising situation my husband lost it. Well, to an extent he lost it. It was another fifteen minutes after I used my inhaler before he was ready to resume our previous activities, and that was with a lot of coaxing and reassurance from me.  Lets be honest, there are certain activities that are best left un interrupted and this is one of them. Additionally, ones partner should not be afraid of touching you for fear that your going to stop breathing a die in the middle of play time. That really takes a lot of the flavor out of the activity. With a little bit of experimentation we have discovered what forms work out best for minimizing the likely hood that I will have an attack while we are engaged in certain marital activities. Incidentally, the traditional "missionary position"  actually turned out to be the absolute worse position for me. Of all the different suggestions in that little Hindu book that is the one that I'm most likely to have an attack with. Because of that we stopped using that one entirely. It has forced us to get a tad bit more creative in our activities, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with creativity.
A few of the things that I've learned about asthma that are simply of general interest include, the simple fact that a lot of people go from one extreme to another in how they deal with an asthmatic. Some people treat an asthmatic as if the act of looking at them cross-eyed will set off a sever attack. They try to find nice safe activities for you when your around them and will actually stop you from doing something (or try to stop you) on the grounds that you might have an asthma attack and die. We might get into an automotive accident and die also but I don't see people stopping use from getting into cars. The there are those people who think that asthma is some sort of psycho-somatic illness. That its either just in our heads or simply a side effect of being "out of shape". In the wrong place these people can nearly kill someone. I had a gym teacher like this threw out grade school. The first class after he received my doctor letter saying that I was not to engage in overly strenuous activities, particularly running (which still sets my asthma off) the man made me run laps for the rest of the class period. This ended up with me going to the emergency room and my school (having assumed that it was weather related) keeping me in from recess even more then they had previously. Then someplace in-between these two extremes are those wonderful people who believe that all lung disease is caused by smoking there for if you have any lung disease that means that your got it by being a smoker and deserve it some how. I have actually had people tell me when I'm having an attack that I shouldn't have taken up smoking, and I don't smoke - not now - not ever. I find that this is a very rude thing to do. You don't tell someone who is choking that they should have chewed better why would you tell someone who is having an asthma attack that they shouldn't smoke, particularly if you have not seen them smoking in any way shape or form. Besides, if you bothered to ask, most of the time asthmatics are not, nor have ever been smokers. No one entirely knows what causes the disease but it is known to have a genetic component to it. Thank you.
 The most important thing I've learned with asthma it that everything is easier to deal with when you throw in a large dose of humor. I have spent some time coming up with a few asthma jokes here and there. Some of them are actually funny to people other then myself. The bulk of them consists of a list of "You know you need to use your inhaler when . . ." jokes that I'm always willing to expand. Finally, the most important thing I know about asthma is that just as I think that I know everything, I learn something new. But isn't that the way it is with everything.